When Collections Bring Tongue Into The Situation
by Margarita Mocha
Summary: Hermione and Ron collect some stuff. Find out what it is. Hurry The Good sumseroony is inside! Um, R./Hr, and All the other girls are away. Explanations are inside! I dont own harry p. Jk does


Summary: Sure Ron collects Chocolate Frog Cards and tons of odds and ends of Chudley Cannons gear, but is there a secret among the Fifth Year Gryffindor Boys' Dormitory? A secret Hermione Granger shouldn't know? And how could Harry ever learn to not drink especially when he is sitting in the middle of an R/Hr fight? Well, stupid Harry was under the influence of alcohol and that's a L.E.A.P. no no. Tisk. Mrs. T would surely tell Harry to read her LAW packets. Okay, I'm done, At least her husband's okay. Here we go with my one shot ficcie!  
  
  
It was a day, a cold, burr, shiver, shiver, day. One where the Gryffinndors were all huddled in a corner, a corner with a fire discussing topics that randomly popped up. Ginny and Harry's new relationship, that was one of them, then once, what everyone collected.  
  
Hermione's collection was romance novels, and somehow Ron had known, lucky guess I suppose. She blushed and simply said, "The guys in those novels are just so dreamy and romantic, they actually appreciate women."  
  
Ron was appalled by the look on her face and from Seamus to Fred and George, all the way across the room, you could tell that Ron was pissed she was even thinking about other men! GOD FORBID! Or RON FORBID!  
  
"Hermione, you know, Ron is actually red because he's mad and not embarrassed this time." Harry said, breathing his alcoholic breath all over her face.  
  
Hermione went to the chair where Harry had just collapsed. She smiled and said, "Harry, I know that Ginny and you are fighting again, and she has no reason, but getting drunk on Fred and George's alcoholic concessions is not the solution. Butterbeer is so not alcoholic, and it is so not going to make you pass out where Moaning Myrtle became the laughing stock of the dorms. Where she got so embarrassed and it was all because of a p— Oh, right the guys don't now bout that, well, um, Seamus, what've you collected throughout the years?"  
  
"Ireland's Quidditch team's autographs, and what'd Moaning Myrtle do? Really?"  
  
"I promised I wouldn't tell. UM, and I can't break my oath as a girl who used to spend all of her time in the girls' lavatory with her in it. Plus, when the girls got back from their vacation, every girl in this School, with the exception of me... Anyway, that's my fault I wanted to stay, but they'd kill me."  
  
"Yeah, why did you stay? Why do the girls get to go? Where did they go?" Ron asked.  
  
"They went to Palm Beach Florida in America. They got to go because they said they needed a break from all the ugly English boys to see some cute American boys. Mm, that would've been a good reason for me to go, but I decided to stay, well, because... I'd miss Harry and Ron too much, you are my best friends by the way, and I like English boys?" Hermione thought desperately for an excuse. Really, she didn't want to go swimming and to Florida because she hated showing off her body to other girls.  
  
  
The boys all scooted closer to her.   
  
Hermione started giggling, and all of a sudden the guys were tickling her. "STOP!" Hermione shouted after a tremendous amount of "S-S-Sto-Sto-Sto-St-Stop!"  
  
She sat up, as they had pushed her down and said, "Some boys are having some hormonal rages, since obviously and arm can't be mistaken with one of these!" She pointed at a very inappropriate spot.   
  
"Sorry." They all said.  
  
"HM, those girls don't know what they're missing. A whole week with idiots like you! What a weird week. Hm, hey, I have an idea! Let's play Seven Minutes in Heaven!" Hermione had turned into a very older girl and was friends with all the guys in Gryffindor. She thought none of them would ever mistake her wanting to play a kissing game with them.  
  
"Hermione? Are you feeling alright?" Ron asked as Harry groaned, and sat up.  
  
"Hermione maybe you should take a break. You're acting weird." Harry said.  
  
"You're right. I'm gonna go to sleep, I don't know what's come over me. Ah, must've been that magazine with those tips to overcome PMS, and.." Hermione went on and the guys groaned.   
  
"Hermione? Hermione? Hermione? Hermione?" Ron asked as Hermione was calculating the possibilities in her brain.  
  
"The Cosmopolitan magazine! Yeah, the one with all those secrets about how to get men, mm, Ginny, she'll want to take a look at that magazine."  
  
"She doesn't need to get men! And Hermione neither do you!" Ron said.  
  
"I was talking about for the PMS, Ron, seriously. I don't need men, I don't need Harry, and I don't need Seamus. I might need you, though, it might be a necessity. Sometimes, Ron, I just can't help but fight with you. Helps me get my aggravation out onto someone. Which is so good for this program I'm starting. It's called 'Get a Boyfriend'. Interesting, huh?" Hermione got up from the formation of boys around her. "Got to go change my bra. I know you can see it with this shirt. Too bad, Ginny bought it for me, when everyone celebrated my birthday. Ah, though, there is that slutty t-shirt Patil bought me. That might work."   
  
(This reminds me so much of art class, I sit next to my best friend, and I always go god this bra so does not go with this shirt, I'm breaking the fricking dress code. He laughs and goes, 'mm, didn't need to know that.' Then I tell him what color underwear I'm wearing. I'm not mean, plus he laughs then. And also, after I say that the kid Cameron, looks up and says 'What?' We all start laughing, and once we made up a Wonder bra song.)  
  
  
"She's literally mad. Crazy!" Ron said as she closed the door to her room.   
  
"Bhey." Harry said, slurring the words but and hey.  
  
"Harry, go to sleep." Ron said. Harry was really pathetic without his Ginny, whom was experiencing new boy culture in America.   
  
Harry was walking up the stairs and everyone else was talking in their little groups. Ron was content to be alone until...  
  
"Harry James Potter!" Hermione screamed. She ran out of the room, in her bra and underwear no less, and looks at Ron. Harry has passed out on the stairs, and Hermione has forgotten she is half naked.  
  
"Ronald Arthur Weasley! Why in the hell did he come in my room while I could've been naked for Merlin's sake!"   
  
Ron was smiling and was certainly getting an eyeful. Then Hermione looked on her body where he was looking. She pulled a blanket off the nearest couch to cover her bra, a heart topped one that said 'I love a boy.' all over them. And a thong, which was the exact same fabric. Everyone was looking at her. She looked like she was counting in her head from ten. She wrapped the huge blanket around her and joined Ron on the couch, there she laid down and put her head on his shoulder. Ron was still staring in the direction of where she would be. Until...  
  
"Ron, Everyone has seen me half starkers, now. Everyone."  
  
"What girl has?" Ron asked. The room was still dreadfully quiet.  
  
"Whenever we have flying lessons."  
  
"Can we go be alone?" Ron asked.   
  
"Alone? Sure... My room over there. The only problem is I don't think I can walk."  
  
"Hermione? You sure can be pretty clumsy." Ron said, laughing to himself. The room was still quiet.  
  
"True. And I would kill you except this bra is strapless and can fall at any minute. ANY!" Hermione got up looked at all the guys and said, "So now you've seen me half naked."  
  
Someone whistled and Hermione and Ron ran into the Girls' dorm.  
  
Hermione quickly put on a shirt. Then she put on some boxers.  
  
"Whose boxers are those?"  
  
"Mine. Girls can have boxers Ron. God."  
  
"Sorry." Ron blushed.  
  
"So, Ron... You have to collect something? Well, besides those cards and such."  
  
"You're resorting to small talk? I collect Chudley Cannons things too." Ron said as Hermione laid down on her bed.  
  
"Oh, yeah, um, Ron, come here."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
Ron went over to Hermione's bed and sat down on the corner.  
  
"Do you want to know what I collect?"  
  
"What? You mean besides the romance novels?"  
  
"Ya. Besides those."  
  
"Hm, blankets? I mean for whenever you walk out of your room in your under things!" Ron guessed laying down on his back.  
  
"No, Ron, I collect pictures of you. Really of you blushing, because well. . . You. . . ."  
  
"I what?"  
  
"Never mind, Ron. Want to go to Hogsmeade or something along those lines?"  
  
"No, tell me. Actually, I really want to show you my collection."  
  
"Sure, alright." She said as Ron ran out of the room to go get a box and bring it back to Hermione.  
  
"Hermione, ever since the day on the train... the one time when I had the dirt on my nose... I started collecting these." Ron said as he opened up the box and held up a picture of Hermione behind a book.  
  
"Ron, do you take pictures?"  
  
"Hermione, I am not the best photographer. Really, I'm bloody bad."  
  
"Ron, I know it's easy to get me reading, but the way you... took the picture... is bloody amazing, not bloody bad. Are there any Harry in here? On a broomstick?"  
  
"Hermione, you said bloody. Twice. In the same sentence. Oh what has happened to the world? But, Hermione, I don't collect Harry pictures. I collect Hermione pictures. Hermione in the common room just getting to the climax of the book, or Hermione trying to convince a school broom to go 'up', or Hermione eating egg, and accidently dropping some on her because the book she was reading was so in depth, or even Hermione sleeping.  
  
Hermione, I am obsessed with you and your books and your bloody brilliant smile, and your bloody brilliant chocolate brown eyes, your figure, your bra style, now, your figure, and Hermione, You. You."  
  
"Ron, are you serious?" Hermione asked. Ron nodded. Hermione took her left hand to his shirt and pulled him into a very passionate kiss. Pretty soon, Harry had woken up and realized his friends' lack of presence, so he knocked on the door, drunkly, and waited. Unfortunetly... Hermione was still kissing Ron, but it had turned from passionate to totally, well, WHOA!   
  
Harry just walked in on the girl and boy making out, and he said, "Damn well time."  
  
For all we know, they could've been ignoring the drunken guy, but we all think that it was a total "caught in the moment" thing. Pretty soon, Harry started getting aggravated at them not stopping and acknowledging him, so he said, "Are you going to stop?"  
  
They didn't answer. After all, six years of loving your best friend, but having it be off limits was a hard thing, and they needed to catch up. Harry having a hard time without Ginny, was becoming crazy.  
  
"Hey, ho! What up yo!" Harry yelled.  
  
They still didn't give him a glance.   
  
Harry laughed. "At least, we'll know, hey, Ron?"   
  
Ron didn't answer.   
  
"Ron, you guys haven't taken a breath for the past ten minutes. Maybe I should tell you to take a break."  
  
"Harry, they probably aren't replying because they are ignoring you." george and Fred stated from the door way.  
  
"Oy vey. Okay. Suppose I should write Ginny."  
  
"Nice plan, big boy."  
  
  
"Ah, they make a sweet couple." Fred said as they stood in the doorway after Harry left.  
  
"Yeah. And how does Hermione do that?"  
  
"What you mean that thing with her tongue?" Fred asked after George pointed it out.  
  
"Yes. That's just plain, well, different."  
  
"Looks interesting."  
  
"Yep."  
  
  
  
  
Well, it was a short ficlet, and it is dedicated to Michelle, or Crystal Tears.   
  
Review! I love reviews!!!!!! I want tons!!!!!!!!! MILLIONS! BIJILLIONS! Five or six'll do. 


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